Groundhog Day Useless Observations
Hey everyone,
January has flown by, so we’ve reached three pivotal milestones on the calendar. The calendar that’s off by two months I might add, but I’ve already discussed that topic. The first is Groundhog Day, with both Punxsutawney Phil and Beauregard Lee confirming it will be an early spring this year. The second is that this February will contain 29 days in it. Shoutout to Leap Day. And finally, we’ve reached Black History Month and we all need to enjoy it before it flies by as well. Because of these factors, it’s time for another installment of Useless Observations. Last month’s edition can be found here. Let’s begin before Nancy Pelosi puts on kente cloth again and gets in formation.
UO #1: I’m going to see André 3000 in concert later this month and he’s going to perform his new instrumental album New Blue Sun. I need your help locating some OutKast clothes so that I can wear at least a shirt for the concert. I think it’s only right. Also, I’m glad that every rapper stopped having a clothing line as part of their 360 record deal.
UO #2: Do chefs actually do the chef’s kiss? Or is that a myth created by the entertainment industry, like people saying “over and out” on walkie-talkies?
UO #3: Speaking of, walkie-talkie is a hilarious name for a very serious product.
UO #4: Eminem’s “Stan” was intended to be a warning that worshipping a musician or celebrity can go dangerously too far. However, for some reason, it instead became a rallying cry of online superfandom and now every successful artist has an army of Stans.
UO #5: Know what I think about often? How much time it must take for someone to go to the gym and not only exercise but keep setting up their camera to record each movement and exercise that they do. Then, they have to come back home and piece all those clips together and upload them to social media. Multiple times a week.
UO #6: I keep seeing Ninjamas at the grocery store, so I got curious and decided to investigate what they are. They’re absorbent underwear with odor-masking technology to help children sleep through bedwetting episodes. I was so disappointed to learn that Ninjamas has nothing to do with pajamas or ninjas.
UO #7: Antz is a better movie than A Bug’s Life.
UO #8: Whenever there’s a lawsuit against someone, the defense attorney will usually come out and say that their client categorically denies all of the allegations. I’ve never actually heard categorically used in any other context, so I think it’s a fake word.