Wedding Ringer
Hey everyone,
I attended two weddings last month. One was simply as an invited attendee, but for the second I had the honor of officiating it. Thanks to Universal Life Church, I’m now Reverend Corbin Hicks. The wedding went way better than I anticipated and I’ve now added a new skill set to my wedding toolbox.
I’ve done speeches before at weddings - both planned and impromptu. I’ve given Best Man speeches, and I’ve even given a speech for a Quinceañera. But officiating a wedding was a first for me. I’ve already lined up a second wedding to officiate in April, so I take that as a good sign of how the afternoon transpired. I feel like Jimmy Callahan in the film The Wedding Ringer, in how I adapt to whatever wedding request I receive, like a Chamillionaire. It’s only right that I offer a few pieces of advice for wedding do’s and don’ts that I’ve experienced up close and personal.
There’s no reason to leave your cell phone on during a wedding. And for some reason, if you forget to silence your cell phone, there’s no reason to throw your phone into the woods if your phone starts ringing. Trust me on this one.
People pay a lot of money for photographers and videographers at weddings. Your iPhone recording of them walking down the aisle will never be needed, ever. Leave it to the professionals.
If you get seated at a table with people that you don’t know well, use the reception as a time to get to know those people. There’s a reason that the bride and groom felt that you would enjoy being seated with that person, so use it as an opportunity to meet new people and get out of your comfort zone.
I’ve spoken about this previously, but there’s no reason you should ever play Jagged Edge's “Let’s Get Married” at a wedding. The song is not a wedding song, despite its title and aesthetic. The lyrics describe a relationship where one party feels obligated to the other to go through with a wedding and tries to delay it as long as possible until getting married becomes a last resort to save the relationship. You don’t want that vibe surrounding what should be the happiest moment of your life.
I think it’s proper etiquette that once the groom takes his tie off, it’s now okay for every attendee to be able to remove their tie. I think the same goes for the bride taking off her shoes. That’s usually a signal that the party is about to start.
It’s never appropriate to ask any couple about when they plan to have children, but it’s especially inappropriate on the night of their wedding! I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been at a wedding and I’ve seen this awkward conversation go down. This needs to end.
Not every wedding will have a DJ or take requests, but if you happen to be at one of those weddings your request should be something that you think everyone there will enjoy. Read the room before you request that Jason Aldean or Young Thug song. This is a wedding, not karaoke.