July Useless Observations
Hey everyone,
July is finally here and that means summer is in full force. The time has come for pool parties, Independence Day celebrations, the United States being terrible at soccer, and lots of baseball. July also brings a brand new edition of Useless Observations. The last installment can be found here. Let’s get started so that I can work on getting my golf handicap down to a six.
UO #1: I’ve got an idea for a TV show. It’s called Commute Wars. It’s filmed ride-along style with people as they do their daily commutes and everyone competes to see who has the worst commute that season. There would need to be rules in place to keep people from driving in circles, but at the end of the season there would be fan voting. One vote would be for who has the worst commute, and one vote would be for Tosh.0 style web redemption follow-ups where people get a chance to improve their commute.
UO #2: As my friend Duane said in his newsletter, it’s not what you know or who you know but who knows you.
UO #3: Do they still have air marshals on every flight? I remember that being a big deal post-9/11, but I wonder with all the federal budget crunching that’s been happening if this was something that’s been removed. It would explain the dramatic increase in people acting a fool on airplanes recently.
UO #4: If I was a bad driver, I would put one of those “Please Be Patient For Student Driver” bumper stickers on my car. If I was a really bad driver, I’d also put a “Baby On Board” bumper sticker on my car. That way everyone would think I was 16 and pregnant and give me the benefit of the doubt.
UO #5: If you get a red card in soccer, do you still get paid for the game that you’re suspended for?
UO #6: I often think about rap music one-hit wonders and wonder where they are. Like what’s Kid Ink up to these days?