November Useless Observations
Hey everyone,
I knew this day would come, but we’re finally in December. What a year it’s been. I hope everyone has taken a second to review your Spotify Wrapped, put your Christmas decorations up, and make a cup of hot cocoa. With that out of the way, let’s get into the latest installment of Useless Observations. Last month’s edition can be found here. Let’s get this show on the road before the Queen of Christmas returns from her slumber.
UO #1: Rachel “Raquel” Leviss, best known for her role in the Vanderpump Rules Scandoval, has announced that she’s launching her very own podcast soon. Rachel is known to struggle with the spoken English language so I’m curious how this will turn out, but I want to use this as an opportunity for a public service announcement. If you have not started a podcast by December 1, 2023, the window has now closed. There are too many podcasts.
UO #2: Speaking of idiots, who discovered oysters? Who bit into a rock one day and was pleasantly surprised to find something edible inside? Also, who was the first person to combine macaroni and cheese with lobster?
UO #3: Does Avon still exist in 2023? What about Mary Kay and those pink Cadillacs? Is there any product that’s still sold door to door?
UO #4: Now that it’s dark every day around 5 pm, I’m reminded how much I hate Daylight Savings Time. I also learned that farmers were the strongest lobbying force against the implementation of Daylight Savings Time because changing time arbitrarily makes their jobs more difficult. Animals don’t understand waiting an additional hour to be milked or fed because the government wants to conserve energy.
UO #5: The Waterboy is a classic comedy about a college football player who’s obsessed with water, but the source of Bobby Boucher’s football prowess is all of the childhood trauma that he’s repressed and hasn’t dealt with. After watching the movie through that lens, it will never be the same for me again.
UO #6: Speaking of movies, the Madagascar film franchise is way funnier than it has any business being and the movies get funnier every time I watch them.
UO #7: Last thing about movies, I promise. Mulan is my favorite Disney animated movie, but there’s no way they could make that movie in 2023. It’s probably the most problematic out of any movie in the Disney franchise, as it’s filled with sexism, misogyny, and discrimination at every turn. The world was a different place in 1998, and the less said about the live-action remake the better. It removed everything that made the original a good movie.
UO #8: Chime commercials make living paycheck to paycheck sound like so much fun.